I read this on pinterest and by no means does this belong to me. However, I found many of the quips very insightful, despite locating it on Pinterest.
1.
There are plenty of
ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2.
Never cancel dinner
plans by text message.
3.
Don’t knock it till
you try it.
4.
If a street performer
makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5.
Always use “we” when
referring to your home team.
6.
When entrusted with
a secret, keep it.
7.
Don’t underestimate
free throws in a game of HORSE.
8.
Just because you
can, doesn’t mean you should.
9.
Don’t dumb yourself
down.
10.
You only get one
chance to notice a new haircut.
11.
If you’re staying
more than one night, unpack.
12.
Never park in front
of a bar.
13.
Expect the seat in
front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
14.
Keep a picture of
your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.
15.
Hold your heroes to
a high standard.
16.
A suntan is earned,
not bought.
17.
Never lie to your
doctor.
18.
All guns are loaded.
19.
Don’t mention sunburns.
Believe me, they know.
20.
The best way to show
thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.
21.
Take a vacation of
your cell phone, internet, and TV, once a year.
22.
Don’t fill up on
bread, no matter how good.
23.
A handshake beats an
autograph.
24.
Don’t linger in the
doorway. In or out.
25.
If you choose to go
drag, don’t sell yourself short.
26.
If you want to know
what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
27.
Never get your hair
cut the day of a special event.
28.
Be mindful of what
comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, & sheets.
29.
Never eat lunch at
your desk if you can avoid it.
30.
When you’re with new
friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
31.
Eat lunch with the
new kids.
32.
When traveling, keep
your wits about you. No matter where you are
33.
It’s never too late
for an apology.
34.
Don’t pose with
booze. It’s unbecoming.
35.
If you have the
right of way, TAKE It.
36.
You don’t get to
choose your own nickname.
37.
When you marry
someone, remember, you marry their entire family.
38.
Never push someone
off a dock.
39.
Under no
circumstances should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.
40.
It’s not enough to
be proud of your ancestry, live up to it.
41.
Don’t make a scene.
42.
When giving a thank
you speech, short and sweet is best.
43.
Know when to ignore
the camera.
44.
Never gloat.
45.
Invest in great
luggage.
46.
Make time for your
mother on your birthday. It’s a special day for her, too.
47.
When opening
presents, no one likes a good guesser.
48.
Sympathy is a crutch.
Never fake a limp.
49.
Give credit. Take
blame.
50.
Suck it up every now
and then.
51.
Never be the last
one in the pool.
52.
Don’t stare.
53.
Address everyone
that carries a firearm professionally.
54.
Stand up to bullies.
You only have to do it once.
55.
If you’ve made your
point, stop talking.
56.
Admit it when you’re
wrong.
57.
If you offer to help,
don’t quit until the job is done.
58.
Look people in the
eye when you thank them.
59.
Thank the bus driver.
60.
Never answer the
phone at the dinner table.
61.
Forgive yourself for
your mistakes.
62.
Know at least one
good joke.
63.
Don’t boo. Even the
ref is somebody’s son.
64.
Know how to cook one
good meal.
65.
Learn to drive a
manual/stick shift.
66.
Be cool to younger
kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
67.
It’s okay to go to
the movies by yourself.
68.
Dance with your
mother/father.
69.
Don’t lose your cool.
Especially at work.
70.
Always thank the
host.
71.
If you don’t understand,
ask before it’s too late.
72.
Know the size of
your boyfriend/girlfriend’s clothes.
73.
There is nothing
wrong with a plain t-shirt.
74.
Be a good listener. Don’t
just take your turn to talk.
75.
Keep your word.
76.
In college, always
sit near the front. You’ll stand out immediately, and come grade time it'll
come in handy.
77.
Carry your mother’s
bags. She carried you for nine months.
78.
Be patient with
airport security. They are just doing their job.
79.
Don’t be the talker
in a movie.
80.
The opposite sex
likes people who shower.
81.
You are what you do.
Not what you say.
82.
Learn to change a
tire.
83.
Be kind. Everyone
has a hard fight ahead of them.
84.
An hour with
grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
85.
Don’t litter.
86.
If you have a sister,
get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
87.
You won’t always be the
strongest or fastest. But you can be the toughest.
88.
Never call someone
before or after 9 am or 9 pm.
89.
Buy the orange
properties in Monopoly.
90.
Make the little
things count.
91.
Always wear a bra to
work.
92.
There is a fine line
between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
93.
You’re never too old
to need your mom.
94.
Ladies, if you make
the decision to wear heels on the first date commit to keeping them on, &
keep your trap shut about how much your feet kill.
95.
Know the words to
your national anthem.
96.
Your dance moves
might not be the best, but I promise, making a fool of yourself is more fun
than sitting on the bench alone.
97.
Smile at strangers.
98.
Make goals.
99.
Being old is not
dictated by your bedtime.
100.
If you HAVE to fight,
punch first and punch hard.
& They Make a Lot of
Sense...
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