125 Laws of Modern Women
lawsofmodernwoman.tumblr.com
1#Seek happiness. Everything else is secondary.
2#
Handholding: Interlocked Fingers > Cupped Hands
3#
Don't use your menstrual cycle as a constant excuse.
4#
You can't find someone to love if you don't leave the house, dress up, get out, [&] get laid.
5#
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." –Ian McLaren
6#
Own at least one black dress.
7#
Surround yourself with people who build you up even when it would be easier for them to tear you down.
8#
Keep a few dirty jokes in your back pocket. They come in handy.
9#
Jump in the shower with him.
10#
Know how to change a tire.
11#
"The secret of being boring is to say everything." –Voltaire
12#
You're not a porn star and neither is he, but go ahead and try that thing you wanted to do anyway.
13#
"The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: Me, too." –Brene Brown
14#
"If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done." –Thomas Jefferson
15#
Don't seek comfort and live virtue. Seek risk. Find art. Get freedom. Enjoy danger. Live sin.
16#
Don't marry rich. Be rich.
17#
Don't ask or expect anyone to defend your honor except yourself.
18#
Why wait until the third date when you can fuck on all three?
19#
Don't pick a job with great vacation time. Pick one that doesn't need escaping from.
20#
No one gives a shit about your righteous beliefs. Your behavior is what makes you a good person.
21#
"Please be a traveler, not a tourist. Try new things, meet new people, and look beyond what's right in front of you. Those are the keys to understanding this amazing world we live in. –Andrew Zimmern
22#
Repeat Daily: "Today, I am thankful."
23#
Spoil him.
24#
Whatever it is, pitying yourself will not solve it.
25#
"The essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail. –Edwin H. Land
26#
There is a reason for every question. No one is ever "just curious".
27#
If you don't like criticism stop looking for it.
28#
Introduce a little bondage into the relationship. Or a lot.
29#
Being happy is more important than being right.
30#
"Don't judge others because they sin differently than you." –Ablaz Poetry
31#
"You can never be overdressed or overeducated." –Oscar Wilde
32#
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you." –Françoise Sagan
33#
"Female friendships that work are those in which women help each other belong to themselves." –Louise Bernikow
34#
Never feel guilty for masturbating. Or do. Whatever gets you off.
35#
Never blame anyone else for the things (or people) you do when you're drunk. Take responsibility and walk it off, champ. And if necessary apologize.
36#
Don't be afraid to give him instructions in the bedroom.
37#
If you want to be his wife, what are you waiting for?
Propose.
38#
Say "Fuck You" more often. It feels really great.
39#
Stop comparing yourself and you'll start being happy again.
40#
Don't underestimate the seductive power of a decent vocabulary.
41#
If you don't love him as he is, then you don't love him at all.
42#
Would the girl you were yesterday admire the woman you are today? If not, adjust for desired results.
43#
You can only control your own actions. Be less worried with the actions of others and focus on how you can get what you want through your own actions. (Occasionally that means taking the action of manipulating other folk's actions to your liking).
44#
Break the rules more often and you'll gain a huge advantage over those too afraid to risk it.
45#
Calm the fuck down. Today is the tomorrow you were so deathly worried about yesterday. And today's tomorrow will be equally un-catastrophic.
46#
Say what you mean.
Stop blaming others for being unable to read your mind.
47#
Simple tastes over extravagant luxuries.
48#
You're not over him until you've stopped checking his Facebook.
Don't kid yourself.
49#
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." –Eleanor Roosevelt
50#
Be nice to people sometimes, and stuff.
51#
No pants are the best pants.
52#
Eat well, travel often.
53#
"Don't be in such a hurry to condemn a person because [she] doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today." –Malcolm X
54#
Bite his lips and press your body against his.
55#
Do it with passion or not at all.
56#
Good things come to those who work their asses off and never give up.
57#
"Art is anything you can get off to." –Andy Warhol
58#
"Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't." –Bill Nye
59#
No one is responsible for your happiness except for you.
60#
If he cums in your mouth, it's rude not to swallow.
61#
"Action expresses priorities" –Mohandas Gandhi
62#
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
[i.e. the pursuit of pleasure, sensual self-indulgence]
63#
"The less I need, the better I felt." –Charles Bukowski
64#
"Do no leave your reputation to chance or gossip; it is your life's artwork, and you must craft it, hone it, and display it with the care of an artist." –Robert Greene, 48 Laws of Power
65#
Less stress, more sex.
66#
Nothing is wrong if it feels good.
67#
If you don't think, you shouldn't talk.
68#
Being pretty is not license to be a cunt-y asshole.
69#
Go in for the kiss.
70#
"Life will never be perfect no matter how hard you try." –Jae Bliss
71#
Be able to laugh at yourself. You'll live longer and happier.
72#
There is no such thing as unconditional love.
73#
The only success worth fighting for is happiness.
74#
"Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies." –Robert Greene
75#
Stop using the term 'real woman' to refer to curvy women. Tall and skinny girls aren't fucking imaginary. All women are real women.
76#
Your mood should not dictate your manners.
77#
"Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing." –Hunter S. Thompson
78#
Never let your happiness be dependent on something you can lose.
79#
If you're full of cocks you can't be full of sadness. (Substitute ice cream in place of cock should you be in short supply.)
80#
Nothing makes a woman more productive than knowing she's out of time.
81#
Perception is always more important than reality.
82#
Participate in something you believe in.
83#
Criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
84#
There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
85#
"I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don't know why, some people fill the gaps but other people emphasize my loneliness." –Anais Nin
86#
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art." –Eleanor Roosevelt
87#
Five good friends will do more for your happiness than all the riches in the world.
88#
Shit could always be worse.
89#
"Well behaved women rarely make history" –Eleanor Roosevelt [Correction: quote by Laurel Ulrich Thatcher]
90#
If you don't want to do it, figure out a way to weasel out of it.
91#
Regret is more trouble than it's worth.
92#
Live your life deliberately.
93#
If you can't be with the one you love, maybe you're not good enough. Get to work.
94#
Love is knowing that if it ever comes down to you or him, you'll choose him.
95#
"Do yourself a favor. Before it's too late, without thinking too much about it first, pack a pillow and a blanket and see as much of the world as you can. You will not regret it. One day it will be too late." –Jhumpa Lahiri
96#
Loose morals are just more fun.
97#
"The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it." –Henry David Thoreau
98#
Admit when you're wrong before it's too late.
99#
"People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely." –Hans F, Hansen
100#
There is nothing more valuable than happiness.
101#
Never risk what you have and need for what you don't have and don't need.
102#
Live your life as a series of obsessions.
103#
Pursue pleasure.
104#
If you've never been thrown out of and banned from a place of business, you're not living aggressively enough.
105#
"If you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original." –Ken Robinson
106#
You can be an asshole. Just don't be a boring ass-hole.
107#
If you don't like the rules, make new ones.
108#
Embrace your inner pervert.
109#
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
110#
"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." –Lao Tzu
111#
Every day do something that scares you just a little. Get your heart racing.
112#
Don't worry so much. No matter what happens you die at the end.
113#
Learning how to be happy is the single most important skill you will ever learn and use.
114#
"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept and apology you never got." –Robert Brault
115#
What you want and what will bring you joy may not always be the same thing.
116#
Just because he cums doesn't mean you're doing a good job.
117#
"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it." –Neil Degrasse Tyson
118#
"We seldom think of what we have, but always of what we lack." –Schopenhauer
119#
You can't change yesterday.
120#
Men are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
121#
Things aren't always going to be okay. And that's okay.
122#
"A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him." –Brendan Francis
123#
If you fear he'll lose interest after fucking you then you should probably work on being less of a bore outside of the bedroom.
124#
"If you live it up, you won't live it down." –Tom Waits
125#
Maybe they're not haters. Maybe you're just an asshole.
